I sat and shared with Evan (last night just how much I desire to be used by God but right now I just feel like I’m sitting on the sidelines. Right now, I feel like I’m waiting for God to make up His mind on how He wants to use me. And I believe what’s so frustrating is that I know Truth. I know my God. I know His ways are prefect and that what looks like me waiting on God is really Him waiting on me to grow, learn, and develop… whatever might be next.
But sometimes I forget such a profound part of following Jesus. Often times, it’s not about me. Such a profound thought that the world does not revolve around me no matter how badly sometime I wish it did! Instead I encountered such a sweet moment…a reminder that God has our steps ordered and our lives purposed for His glory.
About a month ago I started an 'on call nanny job' to make some extra money where ministry funds weren't available. To be honest I was a bit disappointed that my time would be spent nannying instead of out in the field doing ministry. How could God use me if I wasn’t completely available?! I found myself saying “God… I’m here! I’m ready! Use me. Use me over here God! “
But God said no because the harvest was ready somewhere else and the workers there were few (Matthew 9:37). Alexis calls me several times a week when a spot becomes available at the nanny agency. Today when she called to tell me about an opportunity to work she asked if she could ask me a personal question. When she asked if I went to Hope Church, I was quite confused. She was watching the Life as a Jesus Follower video on the Hope website and saw me in it. The video was shot months ago and I completely forgot it was even there. As we talked back and forth she asked if I had ever been a part of a small group before. She isn't a Christian but is interested in learning more. I told her that actually my husband and I lead a small group and she was more than welcome to come.
The harvest was so plentiful that it nearly fell off the vine! She was SO excited to receive an invitation!
I'm currently studying through the book of Esther and it continues to echo through my life, "for such a time as this." Maybe for no other reason than for a sweet stranger named Alexis, were funds low and bills high and a need at the nanny agency existed. Perhaps for such as time as this you have been called to go in a new direction, have lost a job, has a stranger stumbled through your path. Perhaps you’ve been called into this royal position because God wants to use you in a greater way than you’ve ever imagined!
How faithful is our God!